on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize