I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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