You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
