you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
