the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
