My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
