And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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