You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
