I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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