Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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