He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
