I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
