just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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