Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
