i love accidental penises.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
