all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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