Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
