when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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