walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
