So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
