i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize