we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
