Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
