So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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