Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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