Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
