i jhust puked up my retainher.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
