I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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