All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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