the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
