I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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