He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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