Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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