Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
