just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I got inside last night via doggy door
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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