11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
