are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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