Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
