He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You're like the curious george of whores
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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