I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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