Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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