i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
