sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize