i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
