i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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