im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
