What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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