Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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