I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We are two peas in an std pod
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
