Who did Billy Mays play for?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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