finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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