I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
