we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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