..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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