I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
