now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize