I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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