you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
