i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
