Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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