don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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