If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we made out on top of his cat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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