Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's blow job season.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
