"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
