when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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